K is for Killer Kermit
It was a hot, humid wet season evening and Justin’s ‘Opera Style’ high pitched squeals came racing through the sticky air, up into our bathroom window.
Oh Goodness I thought, hastily pulling out my 360 vibrating toothbrush from the tile grout I was scrubbing behind the toilet in my ensuite. That did not sound good.
Practically slipping my way through the diluted Eucalyptus Oil I’d poured all over my sparkling bristle polished tile grout, I skitted out the bathroom, over the carpet of my bedroom and into the hallway, leaving a trail of oily footprints behind me.
What in the world is going on!! I panicked in my head.
Racing down the stairs, I very clearly heard the words… ‘Its tryna kill me!!’
What in the world was it?! You ask?…
‘Justin…. I want to wrap my long green fingers around your neck!’…..
Apparently the frog had waited patiently on top of the door frame for hours. Waiting for that perfect moment, when Justin (who already has limited sight) would be vulnerable, it pushed on its muscular hulk sized legs and flew through the air like a green colored Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor, aiming right for his jugular vein.
Justin, the subject of my last bloggie, just happens to have the most unreasonable fear of green tree frogs… *blank stare*
Disclaimer: Article may contain small amounts of exaggeration for dramatic effect and impact at various key points which will not be disclosed. (With the EXCEPTION of the time he wailed out that the frog was trying to kill him – that’s true.)
Addition: ‘They tried to gummy me to death with their toothless mouths’ – DIRECT QUOTE….
I think I am going to suggest Shonda rhymes joins you to start a sit com ” Justin & Lou”, it will be a hit!
this post certainly made me laugh! you could be a stand up comic. Nutschell http://www.thewritingnut.com Happy A-Zing!
Thanks for your comment @ nutschell, I’d like to think I am funny, however, I’m really not, though should most certainly get Kudo’s for trying… very very hard…
Hope to see you again sometime..
That’s a nice bloggie Miss I’m-happily-watching-an-interior-decoration-show-going-ooo-that-looks-nice-then-suddenly-eeww-red-it-looks-like-someones-been-murdered! ☺
Are you making fun of my aversion to ‘Red-Anything’ inside of peoples houses?
Yes, I thought so.. Well, I will have you know, that almost everyone knows (except you) that there is absolutely no justifiable reason to have Red-Splashbacks in your kitchen – UNLESS you chop off your own fingers on a regular basis!
sharkbytesApril 24, 2012
This is hilarious! Especially the disclaimer. I’m trying to visit all the A-Z Challenge Blogs in April. My alphabet is at myqualityday.blogspot.com
Thanks so much for visiting @ Sharkbytes.. – and for the comment…
That’s sounds very practical and reasonable reason for a red splash back.
You have a RED couch in the kids play room!
I went to check the mail last night. I couldn’t see inside. So I got my pointer finger and slowly reached inside…. As soon as I realised there was no frogs or mail I quickly pulled it out, in case it was sitting on the side and was waiting to gummy me for disturbing them in their lair plotting schemes against us!
The whole ‘frogs are disappearing’ is one of their schemes too! They’re off on some training camp to overthrow the ‘monophibians’. The day when they overthrow us, I’ll be like “I TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU!!”
*takes deep breathes*
OK, I’ve calmed down now
*picks up the phone to call Dr. Phil*.
We are gonna get you some help. I promise.