Love – a decision.

Love – a Decision

Love Corinthians

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else..

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling

Credit - Anonymous.
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56 responses to “Love – a decision.

  1. wow, this was a great blog to read. You reblogged? I fell in love with this! Kind of gives me an insight on my future considering I’m still young and have never had such a long relationship to the point where I get annoyed with them but I think this will stay with me and will teach me to love the person I have found… WHEN I get to that point. 🙂

    • Not a reblog, but an anonymous post on Facebook that I came across – I LOVED it and like you, related to it immediately – as I think most people do when they read it 🙂

      This is one I did write – called ‘ You Lying Fungus’ amusing if nothing else, though discussed that dreaded mess when more than 2 people are involved in a monogamous relationship… – https://misslouella.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/in-love/

  2. Slow clapping it out for this one. This is why so many people get married & divorced — they think that sustaining love is as easy as falling in it.

  3. Amazing post! Couldn’t have said it better. Love is beautiful and amazing… but everything worth having never comes easy. The best relationships take work, understanding and commitment. And like you said, learning to love that person for who they are. Great quotes! ❤

    If you ever get a chance, please check out my blog sometime!

    http://www.jenerationlife.com

    • I will do! I already note some fantastic tips for creating some positive energy! (love it) and will try and get in and have a look through and interact more over the next few days! (work is sapping my life energy.. lol)

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment, I greatly appreciate it!

      Miss Lou
      x

  4. Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails… beautiful. And the anonymous quote is refreshing, in a world full of wife swappers.
    So, it’s not about finding the right person – only about loving the person I find? I think it would be important to find a person who also believes in loving the person they find. Very thought provoking. And I think the quote applies only to married couples, not to loving people in general. This post of yours has really got me thinking, Miss Lou!

    • The entire post was written by someone I don’t know. It was in a post I found on Facebook and it just floored me! I’d have loved to give the person who wrote it credit, but I just honestly do not know where it came from – hence the anonymous credit!

      It is very thought provoking!

      • Yes, definitely! I am still thinking about love. And how it has not worked out for me. And how I could do better. Or whether I should give up and …. I just don’t want to give up.

      • I don’t think we should ever give up, you were right about one thing – we need to find people who are also emotionally tuned into the concept that love is a choice, and one we NEED to make even on the days we don’t feel like being loving!

      • I believe you are right – how do we find people who are tuned in to that concept? Love is a choice. It is an action we choose to carry out. And especially it is ‘proved’ or ‘tested’ in those times when it is not easy, and perhaps not even to our immediate ‘advantage’ to carry out a loving action.

  5. “The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.”

    True that. I really wish my significant other could read this. We’re on the edge right now, I don’t even know if we’re still together. But it is indeed: Love is a decision, not a feeling.

    • Sounds like things are a little uncertain for you.

      Something I try to do when coming to what seems like the end of a relationship is take account of where I am, excluding the feelings of rejection and or unworthiness I may feel.

      I don’t like to hurt peoples feelings, and I also do not like to fail. So what happens is, I stick, investing myself and doing every possible thing I can do to have a positive outcome. This can quite possibly go on forever (seriously).

      Its horrible when you get to that place where no one is saying what needs to be said and so you are being treated poorly or you can feel the relationships is over.

      In that situation – you are going to be feeling like crap, and with no love shared, rejected too. I know for me, this has resulted in a skirmish with feeling rejected, and so I try harder and cling on for dear life.

      That’s the BEST time to let go. Stop and think about what you really like about the person? Is there actually any point to trying to continue? Are you experiencing 90% bad 90% of the time?

      You will grieve the loss, but look back when you meet someone more suited and think, ‘ I should have done that sooner’!

      Check out this blog: https://misslouella.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/in-the-sea-2/

      Please ignore the gorgeous Shemar pictures and read the actual content of the blog. It’s some food for thought that may help.

      That being said. Love is a choice, and when you know this, it is best being with someone who believes that right along with you. That way you wont be living in a grey area with the most vulnerable part of yourself exposed!

      Wishing you the best,

      Lou
      xx

      • True that, everything you said.

        If you are thinking about him all the time then you are not thinking about yourself.

        All these time I dedicated my life and thoughts for him.. now it’s a ME time!! I cry no more, and I try to see everything on the positive side for now.

        Hugs,
        Erika

    • Hi, 🙂 Thanks so much for your visit and the comment! I love this particular piece myself, and I am glad that you could relate!

      I’m delighted to be following your blog! I loved your dinner table post *giggling*.. gave me an opportunity to mention our once a week national anthem burp fest *rollin eyes and tries not to giggle*

      I look forward to reading more of your posts!

      Miss Lou
      x

    • Thanks so much Jeannie, for your visit, comment and the follow. Greatly appreciated!

      I enjoyed reading through your bloggies. Your fathers day post was absolutely beautiful. Lucky father to be so appreciated and you are such a blessed daughter to have such a wonderful father!

      Thanks again for visiting.

      Miss Lou

      • I will do! I actually follow a HUGE amount of bloggies, so if by some chance you do not hear from me in a while, please touch base with me as I have no doubt I’d like to see whatever it is you are writing.

        I’ve started keeping a list of bloggies in my wordpress folder, but I’m always worried I will miss some!

        Miss Lou
        x

  6. Louella, thanks for the follow earlier. I love your bloggie! Love all the facets on your jewel-self. This is a great post (as are the others). Everyday/moment we have a choice to choose Love or not. I met a couple many years ago, who had a “check-in” anniversary. Every year on that day, they would come together to review the past year and see if they wanted to continue their commitment to one another. Amazing, beautiful, refreshing and scary. Looking forward to reading more. xo

    • Hi Joette, Thanks so much for your comment! That is a beautiful story, about the couple you encountered, and the first time I have heard of it being done that way. #reasonstosmile!

    • You are so welcome Tara! Thank you for leaving a comment and liking 🙂 We all go through really tough times, they are a natural progression in relationships.

      I hope that you find some comfort and direction to resolves whatever it if you may be experiencing right now.

      Miss Lou

  7. The key to my 28+ years of marriage – Love is a choice I make every day of my life. I am blessed that my wife make the same choice.. (My parents have been making that choice for 60 years.)

    • Hi Bill, Yes, I agree, Love is a choice, and sometimes it is easier to make than others.

      I love the generational lead that we often see present in relationships that have been long lasting and healthy, and or both.

      Thanks so much for visiting 🙂

      Miss Lou
      x

    • Thankyou Michelle, though I cannot take credit for it. It was in a link posted on Facebook – with no known author. I loved it so much I copied and pasted it hence the disclaimer down the bottom of the post 🙂

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