Oh Crap.

· by · in Dire, Need to Know!, Travel. ·

Oh Crap.

We recently went on a Mini Vacation and I DON’T like using toilets outside of my home.

Road trip toilets are the worst. (Except Komtar in Penang, that was bad. The ferry from Penang to Langkawi was also a shocker – not sure they had ever heard of cleaning. Ever.)

Past the urban line and hardly any non government public service cares about cleaning their bathrooms?!

What the fungus.

I need an alternative system that doesn’t include a shovel, my ASIC trainers and dirt.

A bucket could squeeze in as a last resort after this last experience.

Toilet Blog

191 responses to “Oh Crap.”

  1. Someone mentioned that there was a website that rated restaurants by their toilet facilities. Hmmm. I shall select the venue by their in-put, not out-put. Bon Appetit!
    Oscar

  3. My mom refused to allow us to use public toilets, but I had to break ranks from my childhood training when we started ministering in Ghana, West Africa. Give me the great outdoors over a dirty/stinky facility. Bonus, my quads get a great workout during the 2 months we’re in Ghana. That and the lack of good Mexican food makes it like a Fitness/Spa vacation. If you don’t count the malaria and snakes.
    What’s up with so many great bloggers in Australia? Like it’s not enough you’re dominating Hollywood? Next thing I know an Australian will perfect cold fusion and find a lasting solution for world peace 😉
    And, your blog makes me smile. A lot.

    • Lol thanks Kelly! I’m liking the sound of the good quad workout over stinky facilities, though not the snakes, spiders, scorpions or malaria infected blood suckers!

  5. I am SO not a fan of public restrooms, but I think the worst for me was in China.
    I went on a roundtrip with my parents in law and my husband (all chinese) in Yunnan, in the south-west of China, next to Tibet and Myanmar. Being part of a travelgroup is always challenging regarding restrooms, because everyone wants to go at once, but also the farther we got into rural areas the worse the restrooms got.
    First there was no paper (which is not so unusal in China, so I was prepared), then there was no paper and no water, then no paper, no water and no door, followed by no paper, no water, no door and no stalls and the highlight was a filthy “toilet” with no paper, no water, no door, no stalls and no roof… I don’t know why they did even bother to put up walls around it. Sometimes I would have been more comfortable to find me a bush…
    But I might add that my parents in law and my husband had as much problems with the restrooms as me. The situation in big towns is definitely different to that of some rural areas

  6. How things change…..
    Imagine this: a long (about 20 meters) building completely devoid of any partitions inside. Along the length of one of the wall – metal wall (urinal). Along the length of the other wall – holes in a floor about 1 meter apart. In a morning, you would see anywhere between 40 and 60 guys, all going about their business without giving it a second thought. Welcome to the toilet in barracks of the Soviet Army back in the 80th 🙂

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  9. LOL…I feel the same. Take a woman with bad knees (yours truly) and put her in a small fishing town in Italy with a hole in the ground and you have problems. 😛

  10. Well girl, this post gave me a grin. After being in the Army then spending about 30 years behind the wheel of a truck working the lower 48 and Canada a person has got to learn to clean them before you sit on them and always try to put a layer between your butt and the crud. I also hate walking into a restroom and right away the acidic and the rear end smell burns the hair out of your nose.

    • Ted, I have no idea how on earth I missed this comment of yours.. but CRAP.. I’m sorry!! I try to respond to every single one and sometimes, I miss them 😦

      Re the acidic and rear end smell burning the hairs out of the end of your nose.. FUNGUS!!

      I concur entirely, you have suffered the experience of toilets outside of ones home so much more than I ever have or will… lol

      ML
      x

    • LOL, Lisa, it appears more than half of us are uncomfortable using toilets outside of our own homes eh.. lol

      Thanks for dropping by and apologies for the delay in response!

      ML
      x

  12. With this one post Lou, you have brought down the North-South, Developed -Undeveloped divide plaguing the world. The world stands united in its pledge to make road trips as adventurous as possible. 🙂

  13. Ewwwwww. I went on a road trip from NY to TX with some girlfriends once and we gagged our way through poop warehouse/food court (don’t eat where you poop) after poop warehous/food court along the way. But even worse is going to the bathroom with small kids in public bathrooms. I’m hyperventilating by the end because my 1yo will touch everything that could possibly spread disease and 4yo loses her mind over automatic flushers. I have to cover the sensor and beat the little guy off the toilet (that his sister is on) with my foot. It’s awesome Mommy skills at work.

    • *giggling* lol… I’m sitting here gasping for air through fits of laughter reading that…. Bwahahahaha!!! I HATE using toilets outside of my house, and the children aren’t yet as against it as I am, but I’m working on it. Lol

      If at all possible, at young ages I prefered to take them into the parental room toilets or disabled toilet because it’s extra large and has a good lock on the door… But now .. well no 7 & 9 yr old wants to watch their mum take a whizz eh!

      • Oh hell ya, I totally dominate the handicapped stall or “family” (just weird) restroom. It just never fails, that will be the one out of toilet seat covers and with “finger painting” on the walls. OMG I just dry heave gagged. My kids will pee 2 seconds before we leave the house on a 5 minute journey to the store and HAVE to go when we get there. Shoot me.

  14. Miss Lou, you must learn the art of hovering when you vacation. Or just hold out for a better opportunity. You found some truly bad spots. 😛

  15. Ack! I’ve run into a few like these. The worst have been pit toilets along the less-traveled state highways. But I think that the quality has improved greatly here in the States over the years. Health departments check that sort of thing and shut down the worst offenders. A McDonald’s restaurant is usually a very safe option–although the food cannot be recommended as highly as the toilets . . .

    • Lol, I read on a Facebook post recently, that staff admitted to rubbing burger patties from McDonald’s on their genitals. NEVER eating maccas again….

      As for their toilets, you’re right – even in her poor parts of Asia I have visited, they have alwaus had exceptionally clean modern facilities.

  16. Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one who wouldn’t do that. My friends make fun of me lol. Reading this makes me embrace it much more. Look at that vote to how many people don’t like using toilets outside their own home!

  18. Okay, so first… hi. First comment on your blog, and I pick the toilet article first! #awkwardicebreakers
    Anyway, I agree. Toilets that are not your own are horrible things. Don’t even get me started on ones that don’t have a wall between the toilet and the sink. Basically the worst. Other people’s toilets are like going to a casino, you might break even, and probably come out with a loss, but you’ll rarely come out of it saying “man I’m glad I had to go in there.”
    This one time… there was an… incident.
    See, I was in this wedding, okay? It was the wedding of an old girlfriend, who is still a close friend. APPARENTLY, there were hella plumbing problems, with roots clogging pipes and making it impossible for water to pass. Of course, no one told me about this before I went in there. It… could have happened to anyone. You’ve gotta believe me.
    Make a long story short, flooded the mother of the bride’s house. She had to get new insulation and floors and everything.
    THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER INSTALLATION OF AWKWARD ICE BREAKERS. Please see the attendant to have your tickets punched.

    • G’day Tophat! LOL @ awkward Icebreakers….
      Casino references – I NEVER would have thought of that, though now you have, I completely agree.. *giggling*

      Fungus @ your poo and stuff floating around the mother of the brides house! One ‘Toilet Transaction I could have done without knowing..

  20. I’m totally with you on this one. I especially hate going to the loo at work… it’s so tense. I have no idea why.

  21. ok this might not be too flattering but as I went into the toilets of the cricket club last week I briefly thought of you lol and this article ;D

  22. My o nly”bad” situation i have ever has was using a toilet at a newly opened chain coffee shop on the way home one night. I flushed, and it didn’t go down.

    Thank goodness it was just liquid lmao (i DO have an aversion to public urinals. The idea is just, umcompfortable and gross). But talk about embarassing. Enter the place for the first time EVER, and flood the mens room.

    • LOL.. I know.. I was thinking the exactly same thing, and snakes aren’t the only thing that live in toilets.. I recently had an experience with a green tree frog, jumping right out of the bowl into my face! FROM THE TOILET!! *bursts into tears*

  25. I’m with you all the way on this. I have a serious aversion to crappers outside the home. I have recurring nightmares that I have to use one, and they’re always invariably full of other people’s shit. God, ain’t the psyche weird?! X

    • Lol, I love your use of crappers ( I thought we were the only ones that said that)

      I haven’t had a dream like that Thank goodness… lol

  26. I cant even stand looking at the toilet pics you posted, reminded me of disgusting toilets I’ve been too. I’m sure you can smell the stench from afar with these toilets. Ewwww!!!

  27. Miss Lou – or should that be Ms Loo (as we affectionately refer to our facilities here in the UK) – you couldn’t be more true. My worst loo experience was in Kenya – a wooden shack on the edge of a mountain with a backflap for crap heading downhill. I just held my waters. What else could I do? Oh yes, and then there was the rather architectural throne of sand in Mali – beautiful – until a horde of termites came rushing out as soon as I dripped some water into it (thankfully from a little plastic kettle I was holding and not from my *ahem* body). Character forming. But in my old age, I feel very attached to my own sparkling white loo, and think twice about travelling for that very reason. In fact, I really don’t like the idea of sleeping on a bed used by thousands upon thousands of bodies. Eugh.

    • Your toilet experiences sound fungus!! I haven’t been to Kenya yet, or Mali. though I will be sure to take photographs of any toilets I do encounter~!

      What I found quite distressing in Asian countries I have visited is the contrast between the facilities of those people within the country that had money, and those who had none – not just in remote areas, but ALL areas.

      Certainly any country you go to , including here in Australia there is a diverse socio economic population, and some have more money and resources than others.

      That’s where the government and community come in to support those that may be going through a difficult time, and need help to get back on their feet.

      In Penang the lack of resources (including housing and toilets) for the public to utilise was so evident. The standard of care for those who needed help most was very low, and there we little options available to them to break the poverty cycle.

      End rant..lol

      lol @ Miss Loo and I hadn’t even though of the fact 10 thousand people had slept on the beds in hotels and now I’m feeling a bit ill. *groans*

      • yes, weak or non-existent infrastructure are the main culprits in many parts of the world. Both Mali and Kenya, particularly Mali, have poor water and sanitation with little investment. The toilet with the termites was beautiful to look at, but where all that waste was going … well, I really didn’t want to know. As I was told by my companion on that trip, “They haven’t emptied it for a while”. At least 70% of the population have nowhere to go to the toilet there. Kenya, too, is suffering. So no surprises there. Still, the UK has some seriously dire loos – any public convenience in a rail station (or worse still, on the train) is a strictly no-go area for me. I will hold it until I turn purple with desperation, rather than wee in such deplorable conditions. And don’t get me started about airplane loos. EUGH. re: the bed thing, sorry to spring that one on you. It’s my inability to lie down on someone else’s bed that has inspired me to try camping this year. Better my own bag and roll than some manky mattress.

      • I’m off for a another mini vacation end July/Early August, now I really feel like I will need to take a swag and sleep on the floor of the hotel *groans*….

        bugger lol

  28. Those pictures are so gross! I would rather risk the bushes that sit on or go near any of those! I hate using public toilets and do my best to avoid them at all costs but if I have to go, I never sit, I hover and if I have to sit I always line everything, everywhere possible with loo paper first! 😉

  31. I don’t like using a public bathroom. I actually posted pictures of outside toilettes to FB when I was in Europe. And you had to pay to use them!!!! Not me. I know I will have to use depends when I get old(er). LOL The price of holding the bladder…

    • Lol Vee! They have just started charging to use the toilets in Katherine – a city I just visited. It was quite controversial (atleast certain profiles we trying to make it so) as they were saying it disadvantaged low income community members and families. I don’t have an issue paying to use them, providing they are clean. I didn’t use the toilet this time around, but I tried last time, and I kid you not, there was feacies absolutely everywhere. There was vomit, and it smelt of alcohol. Never again!

  32. Most of the time I’d rather pee myself than use a public loo, even after covering the seat, the floor, the bowl and the walls in paper, eew, frikin eww!

    • Thank you kind sir!

      I hate to use cuss words and so it is my way of avoiding them while also emphasizing my strong emotions about something.. lol

      Thanks so much for dropping by Cooper!

  34. My parents went to the mountains one time and did not know there was a convention in town. They rent the only room left in down. I laugh so hard at the pictures. The toilet seat is duck taped together because it had broken into. There wer many other things wrong with the room, but that was what fits this blog. As for me, for years I would not use a. Public toilet no matter the cost. I was afaid of getting a “butt fungus”. Now, several surgeries later, I do not have that luxury of choosing whether or not I will use one. When I gotta go I gotta go. THEY STILL GROSS ME OUT!

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    • Line the seat with what? The dress off my body? These establishments don’t care about whether or not there is poo on their walls or snakes in the toilets. They aren’t stocking up on rolls in the skirt of the doily lady next to the glen 20!

      I’ll remember my own toilet paper next time. (since I KNOW that is going to be your next comment)

      The kangaroos like to hop. I promise They even do it at night – when the ground is not hot due to human caused global warming. lol (That was not an invitation to have a debate on global warming BTW)

  39. I’m pretty comfortable using other people’s toilets and most public restrooms. But, yeah, I’m so not comfortable with rest stop, gas station, and other toilets that are like that even though I haven’t encountered anything horrifying thank god.

    • lol! I think the complicated toilet business is just part of our female lot in life! Some things you just can’t attain gender equality eh!

  42. I usually don’t worry about the toilet, if I have to go, I have to go. But if your pictures are the options I had I think I would be carrying a bucket and a windscreen. I mean, I don’t really need Johnny Public watching me dropping a load on the side of the freeway.

    • LOL It’s rather interesting. Through this blog, I’ve discovered I am not the only one who is funny about using a bathroom outside of my home.

      Clean looking toilets are a little easier to use for me, though I still have this OCD thing that has me asking things, like what chemicals did they use to clean it, whose bum with what germies sat on this seat last…

      I think it may be an unreasonable level of anxiety, though it cause no great harm – at least not until I REALLLY gotta go!

      Also that last picture on the lower right hand side, that is at a location called Buffalo Creek. I ‘USED’ to go fishing, crabbing and swimming there as a child.

      *blank stares*

  44. There are folks in America who still”crap” in outhouses…thank you lord Jesus! At least we’ve learnt something from the black plague! LOL (Singing God Bless America in background)

  45. I reckon we ladies should be fitted with a device that allows us to p.u. like a man, a tree would be fine for me. The worst place ever is Europe where the continental toilets which are designed with hygiene in mind are abused by the rest of the world who do not know how to “squat”. As I grow older, the urge to p.u. becomes greater and there is no escaping the necessity of using public facilities unless I resigne myself of never leaving home! Wearing a giant nappy does not appeal.

    • I’m not keen on Nappy wearing either, though at this stage I can still hold it in most of the time. The few times I visit a public toilet it’s usually because I have no other choice!

      I do find the various toilets available when travelling about interesting. Its most helpful when they have signs describing how they are to be used – for those of us who haven’t used them before, it might help reduce mess. LOL

      I had a very interesting experience in the Singapore airport about 18 years ago when I encountered one of their toilets for the first time. *blank stares* Awkward much!

    • lol.. I was finishing off our family travel log documenting all of our experiences and got the the mapping part where we just list the activities of our day.

      We were on our way home and we decided to stop at a small country bistro behind the local roadhouse to eat lunch. Dakotah my 9 year old was refusing to use the toilets and almost wet herself. I’ve passed my uppity OCD toilet stuff down the generation so it seems *groans*!

      I thought to myself.. hmm I wonder if anyone else experiences total anxiety using bathrooms outside their own house. Hence a blog was born. lol

  47. When we drove across France, the roadside toilets were a hole in the ground. You literally had to squat over it (hoping you didn’t miss) and do what you had to do.

  51. The most horrible toilets I have ever experienced were the ones at the Glastonbury Festival : pure HELL (and I had to use them during 3 days !). Anyway, thanks for the follow ! Perfumed greetings from Marseille, France !

    • *shudders even thinking about those toilets* Glad it was you and not I… lol

      Thanks so much for your Perfumed greetings, it really is helping the atmosphere in this bloggy! lol

      YW 🙂 Miss Lou
      x

      • You’re welcome ! Thank for sharing your opinions on my blog ! You’re not brain dead when it comes to fashion : I’ve worked as a fashion documentalist for the last 12 years, so it’s normal that I know a little bit about fashion ! XX

  53. Like you don’t give a crap! Hahahaha!
    I see what you did there!

    I don’t really care where I go, as long as there’s somewhere to put it.

    • LMAO… *blank stares*.. lol! I’m serious. Did you ever experience that in your travels about, particularly for work? When you first took up positions in trailer parks with shared bathrooms?

      I just cannot believe the lack of cleanliness in some of these establishments. I feel like driving back with a bottle of bleach and toothbrush for each one. My OCDometer was off the charts!

      • Oh they were the WORST. They have quarter million dollar rigs with all the amenities and they’d use the bathhouse. AND make the GOD awfullest messes. We banned one man from using the bathhouse. Swear! HAAAAAA. Thanks!
        😀

      • *huggles* I’ve not intentionally stopped, I’ve just been exceptionally busy and focusing more on reading and commenting really 🙂

        Thanks for taking note 🙂 Things seem to be coming along well in your neck of the woods yeah?

      • So much better. SO VERY MUCH better, Did you see my post I did today?

        We’ve come a long way baby! So relieved!

        HUGS and THANK YOU for noticing. 🙂

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