Just Jot It January #5 – Boundaries

Boundaries

Sometimes

Boundaries don’t keep people out,

They keep us fenced in.

Just Jot It January #5; Boundaries

Part of Just Jot It January

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25 responses to “Just Jot It January #5 – Boundaries

  1. Pingback: One Word Wonder #1 – Emotions | Miss Lou Aquiring Lore·

  2. Pingback: Just Jot It January #8 – Plans | Miss Lou Aquiring Lore·

  3. Boundaries are made to be pushed through and broken down. Instead of a person merely wishing they could step outside their, often self imposed, boundaries, they should simply do it. It’s quite liberating when you finally do something you’ve always been wishing you could do, but these unrealistic boundaries had been keeping you from.

    • I agree! Some times things are easier said than done. It really is so simple – but our minds tend to complicate things and make it alot more messy than it has to be.

      I also agree that feeling of being liberated or the feeling of accomplishment you get when you do something you found difficult – PUSHING your comfort zone and growing!.

      #FearSucks

      • Yes, it is easier said than done at times, but you have to push yourself to take the leap. Over the last few years I got tired of wishing I could go to the places in the mountains several of my photographers friends would regularly visit, especially in the winter. Finally I said screw it! Got up early one morning, threw on my backpack and did it.

        Even though I’ve always been an outdoorsy person, I’ve never been really comfortable in the woods in the dark. I knew if I really wanted to get to these places it was going to require A LOT of hiking in the dark. I also knew that I’d often be doing it alone. Now I spend so much time hiking in the dark I don’t even think twice about it.

      • Yes I have! The first solo night hike was the hardest, lions and tigers and bears, oh my, but after that it’s been a piece of cake. Plus, with a willingness to go by myself I no longer have to worry about other people’s schedules. If I want to go, I go. 😀

  4. Well, Miss Lou, I have built myself a strong, not to let any potential attackers get in, and portable, to move it as I please, boundary. S far I have only taken it further and only a few but great people have gotten in. 🙂

  5. ‘That’s why I think it’s so very important to push past our original comfort zone, because if we don’t, our boundaries are never redefined and we become stagnant, never knowing what could have been if we had just tried.’

    I agree completely and am feeling pretty #Blessed right now having so many awesome, reflective minds contributing to my posts.

    Thank you for taking the time to articulate your thoughts 🙂

    ML
    x

  6. Boundaries do fence us in. But I don’t think I would like to live without them, although I prefer them with a good percentage of elastane; more comfortable that way. I don’t like to be hemmed in entirely. I like wiggle room.

    • ‘I prefer them with a good percentage of elastane’ –

      YES!! It is then that our sensible & necessary boundaries do not become a fence but an awareness that allows us to make informed decisions about our behaviours and our relationships.

      Would you mind it l add that to the bottom of my post and provide you with quoted credit and a link?

      You have stated that very well and captured the words I would have used myself if my brain was functioning properly @ 5am in the morning.. lol

  7. Boundaries are an important part of life. Very well written for I believe man is nothing without them. However, the boundaries you spoke of are unjust as those are limiting in nature and hence shall not be walled. Nonetheless, in life one has to know and respect limits or else the soul may go astray.

    • I agree, boundaries are a part of life – and very important, both in the structure of society and our personal behaviour.

      It is so easy to choose behaviours which lead to addiction, or participate in activities that jeopardize the well being of ourselves and those around us.

  8. True, but sometimes, without boundaries you get walked all over. I was just considering this the other day, because Empaths tend to suffer misuse and abuse without setting them. If you don’t set your personal boundaries, someone else will, and it will usually be not to your advantage, and usually to your acute disadvantage. Sometimes it will cause you to fence yourself in, so it’s important to step out of your comfort zone to develop into the person you’re meant to be.

    • Welcome back 🙂 I agree with your comments in relation to general boundaries, which I think are so very important!

      When I wrote this I was thinking about the boundaries that we put up in defense, not the sensible necessary ones. The boundaries we have entirely based on fear. The ones that stop us from having a conversation with someone about our troubles, even though we desperately need another perspective.

      Or… The fear we still have within us 5 years after the end of a relationship, and refuse to even have cup of coffee with someone we like and have known for years, that may be a possible romance.

      The unhealthy, shut people out completely closed off boundaries….

      And then there are those boundaries we have that actually prevent us from achieving something in our career, or studies and trying something new – playing squash – even getting out and going to the gym for fear of being around people.

      Have a GO, even though we might fail.

      And ofcourse, not to forget those painful experiences, when they do happen – we can learn great lessons from those, so. Thankfully, not a complete waste.

      ML
      Xx

      • True. Sometimes I just wish, as I’m sure we all do, the lessons didn’t have to hurt so damned bad. That’s why I think it’s so very important to push past our original comfort zone, because if we don’t, our boundaries are never redefined and we become stagnant, never knowing what could have been if we had just tried. People in general today, from what I’ve witnessed, have an “all or nothing” mentality, and this is so fatal to personal growth and achievement. The person who says, “Why bother, I’ll never make it to the top” really short change themselves. Whereas the person who says, “Why not? There’s not much to lose but the fear of failure” are more likely to achieve higher than they even dreamed. In the same vein, people set boundaries and do a lot of explaining for those boundaries. I don’t think anyone should have to do that. Why does someone owe -me- an explanation of their set boundaries? It’s really none of my business. Many people are very invasive about boundaries, and feel it should be explained by the person who set the boundary to begin with. I’m one of those that will not explain. It’s my right to keeping personal if i so choose. And you’re correct with your “or” scenario. A friend of mine hasn’t dated in five years. Sure, for a few of those she really needed to learn about herself. She was the kind that was defined by the relationship, and really couldn’t define herself without one. But after a few years, I asked her what she was waiting for. Surely not her old boyfriend, whom she loves unconditionally. She is just now starting to date. Why? Because he finally admitted to her he was gay. He still loves her, just not in the same way as she would love him. She finally said out loud the other day, “I was waiting for him without even realizing I was doing it.” If someone is single for more than three years, it’s time to do a self check to see why this is. Not saying they need to get out there and sign up to eharmony or anything, but look at the cause, not the symptom. Self evaluation is a healthy, and I think personally, a very vital part of being human and participating in life. Not just surviving day to day, but truly Living.

      • ‘That’s why I think it’s so very important to push past our original comfort zone, because if we don’t, our boundaries are never redefined and we become stagnant, never knowing what could have been if we had just tried.’

        I agree completely and am feeling pretty #Blessed right now having so many awesome, reflective minds contributing to my posts.

        Thank you for taking the time to articulate your thoughts 🙂

        ML
        x

      • Thank you for “Just Jot It” lol These are things I would be thinking of, but not that I would be sitting down to reflect upon had you not made an interesting point on the topic. 🙂

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