Heartbroken

Heartbroken

At 9:30 last night, I found out my adoptive mother, Kat, was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease – Rapidly Progressive Bulbar Palsy.

Her speech has been faltering the past 2 years. In the beginning, it was thought the cause of her speech difficulties was old denture work, and once it was replaced, the speech would mend.

That hasn’t been the case.

I tried to be brave. To mirror her positive attitude. I ended up sobbing. She comforted me, like mothers do. The irony of me getting the comfort in this situation doesn’t escape me.

The blessing she brought into my life as a young woman. The continued guidance she has provided through the ups and downs life has thrown at me. The thought of loosing her turned my cries into breath stealing sobs.

I can hardly bear it.

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58 responses to “Heartbroken

  1. I’m so sorry to hear your news. As someone who has lost both in laws in the last two years I’d say make the most of the time you have. Make the best memories you can. They will help.

  2. Well, for one, sorry I picked this time to come back to see how you doing…
    For two, happy to have found you again
    For three… Good Gawd. I do feel some… words fail… I am not good at words.
    If I could pray, I’d pray for you and your family. Suffice it to say, I am thinking good things.
    Always good things.
    Peace,
    Sincerely, Peace,
    Lance

  3. I’m very sorry to read this news; thank you for having the courage to share what you’re going through. I will keep you, your mother and your loved ones in my thoughts.

  4. I am so sorry to hear about her diagnosis. Sending you and her strength and love during this battle ((hugs)) ❤

  5. I’m sorry to read such sad news. I’m sure the shock will take a while to wear off. Sending thoughts and prayers for you all as you navigate the precious moments ahead.

    • Thank you for your kind words Natalie. Sadly I live in another state, though thankfully we have the internet & phone calls and text messages and email. I’m going to book in to visit in October.

      ML
      xx

  6. Oh, Lou, I’m so sorry for both of you. It’s an odd thing but when you are the one with the illness, the responsibility to comfort others is often part of the experience. When I had breast cancer four years ago, I found I really needed to be strong for our daughter, but of course I had some tears of my own. The shock and the fear is something to be felt, but then to put in its place so that you can take things one day at a time. My thoughts are with you. xx

    • Thank you Ardys. When I asked about crying herself, she said she had the opportunity to have a poor me, why, massive cries and that now was time to move forward and live each day to it’s best.

      Kat has a wonderful immediate & extended family, and she lives in Adelaide right around the corner from her sis which is a huge blessing as they are the best of friends.

      Thanks for the kind words.

      ML
      xx

  7. Precious Lou, my heart breaks and cries for you and your mom. You are both prayed for and so dearly loved. Let the love of Jesus and all of us carry you through. In abundant love, Deborah

  8. The news is terrible Lou. I’m very sorry. But, t least she hasn’t gone yet and you’ve time to adjust slightly to the idea of being the supportive one as things become more difficult for her. Your job will be to make sure there’s love and support with her every moment and that there is some support in place for you when your mum passes.Things will become so intense that you’ll need it.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    • Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful words David xox. Her wonderful daughter and son-in-law are taking her away on a wonderful holiday – it’s a surprise destination. I spoke to her on the phone last night and have looked at booking in tickets to fly for a visit in October. Just waiting for confirmation on the dates.

  9. I am sorry to hear your news. keeping you and your mother in my thoughts and prayers. I assure you that you will find the strength to deal with this. Keep positive and maintain that smile for your mom. Brightest Blessings.

  10. Oh my gosh that is heart wrenching. My love goes out to you across this big old globe. Warm Hugs 😦

  11. So sad to hear this. As I type, I’ve just come home from our friend’s place. He has MND, and it’s now 7 years since diagnosis, (his MND type is ALS) and although things aren’t great, and he can no longer speak, we’re all still able to take the time to enjoy whatever time there still is.

    I know that’s not very comforting right now, particularly with the bulbar form your Mum has, but please know that you’re not alone, and that all of us who have friends and family with MND feel your pain intimately and intensely. You’re in my prayers.

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to comment & share your personal experience with MND Leonie. xx

      I’ve not been very active at all in my blog recently as I’ve been so busy, though I’ve been so terribly desperate for an outlet that won’t always be tears on the other end of the phone with her. I also feel guilty, yearning for comfort, my heart’s breaking. I’m not the sick one.

      All the opportunities to connect more in recent years I’ve pushed aside to go about busy life. Ugh.

      The words from the song by Meghan Train or & John Legend; ‘I’m going to love you, like I’m going to loose you’ ring so true.

      Treasure every minute.

  12. Hi Lou, so sorry to hear about this. Its to be a tough time for you. I am sure you will be strong and will be there for your adoptive mother. Sometimes your presence is enough to give solace to those around you. Take care.

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